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A controversial policy
of using club funds to buy a weekly Lottery ticket made
the local news for one small club this week. Celebrating
their 1.5 million payout, the committee admitted there
might be a problem with begging letters…. but
decided unanimously that they would probably continue
to keep sending them..... |
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“Showing up is eighty percent
of life.” - Woody Allen
"It is hard to soar with the eagles, when you're living
with a bunch of turkeys!" (Somebody’s Mum) |
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Swimmers were
completing their usual warm up and basic drills
session.
One of the other lane coaches spoke to the swimmers
as they assembled at the shallow end.
“ I’m very sorry but your coach was
suddenly taken ill while you were swimming and
has had to go home.”
“Phew” They muttered.” We were
beginning to think we were going deaf!” |
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Two
well known swimmers in training, who wish to remain
anonymous, announced their engagement this week, after
a ‘whirlwind romance’ in a Meet Best Time.
Both are currently recording Personal Bests and both
were ecstatic with their new Turn Round times. They
were also more than happy with increased Intensity during
repetitions. She is said to prefer Long Course whilst
he prefers Short Course.
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As
usual there was a lot of extraneous noise on the pool
deck and as usual the coach was finding it hard to make
himself heard and as usual he was getting a little exasperated
with the young swimmers’ understanding of what was
expected.
“Pay attention” he groaned.” This session
is supposed to be an endurance session “
He nodded to a serious young lad looking vaguely at him
; “What do you understand by endurance lad?”
The boy thought hard
“ Well……”.he said slowly “I
don’t think I have any ” “Exactly!!”
exclaimed the coach…”What have I been telling
you - -
“BUT…”continued the lad, interrupting
and apparently still in deep thought “ I think
my parents are with the Halifax”
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A group of youngsters
on a residential training camp, were chatting late into
the first night.
“We had a coach once who was so hard he made even
the big kids cry. He was tight and nasty with it.”
“That’s nothing” said a voice from the
darkness, our coach makes kids work so hard that they
haven’t even got enough energy, let alone breath
to cry….
“Oh Yeah ?” said a small
voice – “our coach is so hard he can get in
any time and do the same schedules- he hardly gets out
of breath and he does it all with his wig on.
What’s so hard about that? sneered another voice.
“He keeps his wig on with two nails.”
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Local Radio News Reporter..:
I’m here at the new pool which was officially opened
earlier today.
Prominent amongst the VIPS on poolside were a number of
well known peers.” |
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These are ‘gleaned’
from many sources over the years and kept a few of us more sane
and reflective on many occasions.
We share them with those who can make time for
a short tour around the lighter things in life…….
We will happily acknowledge the source of any
of our quotes, jokes and annecdotes where we know them…
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